Top 10 tips for screen free time with kids

Screens are everywhere. They’ve even broken their way into supermarket shelf and bus stop advertising! 90% of the toys on the market for children are based on a TV program or a film. Social media, cameras, checking something on the internet… everything relies on technology and, more importantly, screens. It can feel impossible to live a screen free life.

So how do we know when it’s time to switch off the screens? And how do you do it with a child!? We’ve done it and come out the other side. We do now allow screen time, but it’s limited. We did go through a period of time with zero screen time, but screen time does have its place. Believe it or not, there are benefits of screen time. But overuse or over reliance on screens can have a harmful impact. For us, we noticed that prolonged screen time led to an increase in negative behaviours, we felt less connected as a family, and we became less productive. We knew something needed to change and so we had a family screen detox.

Here’s my top 10 tips for a screen detox with kids:

One – find your why

Spend some time thinking about and analysing your families screen time habits. When do the screens come out the most? Is it during meal times? While you cook/clean? Is it just before bed? Do you find rainy days the hardest? Make a list of the trickiest times so you can make a plan (more on that later!) and be prepared for these to reduce the chances of you giving in and reverting to screen time. Think about how long you want to go screen free for. I’d recommend a detox of a week before reevaluating what will really work for you and your families circumstances.

Two – talk to the kids about going screen free

Think really carefully about why you want to limit screen time. Is it because you want to connect more? Are you worried about blue light affecting sleep? Do you feel screen time affects your little one’s behaviour (this was our main reason!)? Or is it something different?

Once you’ve pin-pointed your reason, it’s to time to discuss it with the kids and get their reasons. Obviously this needs to be done in an age appropriate way. Bertie was 3 when we took some serious steps to reduce screen time. We’d previously been super conscious of screen time (we had a no TV before 2 rule!) but we’d just had Barnaby and screen time became a real crutch for us as we got used to being a family of four.

We sat Bertie down and talked about how we felt he had started to struggle with making good choices recently and that we had noticed this was harder for him on days he’d watched lots of TV. We talked about how much fun we had together when we turned the screens off and engaged with each other. At the time he agreed with everything. He said he didn’t like it when mummy and daddy were on their phones when he was playing. It was honestly a bit of a reality check!

Three – go cold turkey!

I honestly believe this was the best way we reduced our screen time. We spent a week with no TV at all, and no phones unless necessary. The first couple of days were a challenge – it felt like every five minutes I heard “but I want to watch something”, but by day 3 he had stopped asking for screen time.

Mostly.

Instead he was asking “can you read a book to me while I eat my breakfast?” Don’t get me wrong, this posed it’s own challenges, and if I have to read Funny Bones one more time I might throw it out of the window! But it worked. I don’t think he asked to watch anything again until day 6/7 and was happy enough to play with something different when we said no.

Go cold turkey for a week and I promise you’ll see a difference. You can always reintroduce screen time in a way that feels more manageable for you and your family.

Four – go out on day one

Whether you plan a trip to the zoo, the library, or just a picnic at a local park, I can’t stress this enough – do something out of the house on day one. Use this day to really connect as a family. Get up in the morning and get out the house. Keep your phone in the car (or at home if you’re brave!) and be present. You and the kids will notice a difference I promise. Take the time to notice the way they smile when they find something funny, notice how their hand feels when they hold yours (it’ll never be that small again!), notice the way their face lights up as they talk about the things they’re passionate about. You’ll never regret time spent together, and they grow up all too quickly.

Five – be ready for the meltdowns

It will happen. Day one might go really well – the kids will be able to remember the conversation you had about screen free time yesterday and it’ll be easy to remind them of it. You’ve probably planned something to keep you away from the screens for the day so it’ll feel easy. But day two will harder. Unless you’ve managed to go camping for the week or something else totally screen free. But actually I don’t recommend this.

They need to learn to manage their screen time when they’re surrounded by screens. The kids will have remembered that they didn’t watch their favourite show yesterday, they’ll remember that they usually watch TV at this time, they’ll realise they were conned yesterday! Meltdowns will happen, and you need to be mentally prepared to remember why you started this journey. It will be worth it when you feel more connected as a family.

Six – have screen free activities prepared

Remember earlier in the list where we talked about the “tricky times”? These are the times you want to have an activity planned for. It can be as simple as “let’s go out in the garden to play” or as complex as a carefully crafted small world play. The point is you have a trick up your sleeve for the “tricky times” to help you stay screen free when the kids start to nag so you don’t give in!

Do you use screen time so you can get something done? I hear you – it can be really hard to get your child to engage in anything independently at first, especially if they’re used to screen time, and it will likely take a lot of effort on your behalf to begin with.

Keep a list of screen free activities to entertain the kids while you get jobs done or make tea. The longer you do this, and the more activities your kids are presented with, the better they’ll get at doing things independently, giving you a much needed break.

Seven – talk about the benefits of going screen free

Usually, we’re able to enjoy a slower pace of living once we take away screens. We don’t notice how much time screens take away from us and how beneficial this slower pace can feel. Take some time to consciously talk to your children about the positives you’ve found – be vocal about it and make sure they hear it! But make sure it’s genuine.

Kids aren’t daft. If you say “isn’t it lovely how much time we’ve spent together” when really you’ve looked miserable and tried to get out of actively engaging in each activity, they’ll see right through you! Instead try things like “I’m really enjoying reading these books together” or “isn’t it so much more fun to cook tea together”. Then ask your kids to do the same. Ask them “what have you enjoyed doing this week that we wouldn’t normally have done?” You might be surprised by some of the answers.

Eight – model, model, model

Our kids mimic what we do. If you’re telling them they can’t be on their tablet, then don’t be on yours! Kids call us out and tell us how it is. It it’s unavoidable, like work, then explain this and show it to them. If you use your phone for the camera while you’re enjoying all your new-found family joy, then explain this and make sure you stick to it! “Mummy’s just going to take a photo of the cake we’ve made, then I’ll put my phone away again” Just don’t be a hypocrite! If they’re engaging in some independent play, then sit and read a book instead of scrolling aimlessly on social media. You’ll be amazed at how much more willing kids are to give up screen time when they see us giving it up too.

Nine – reintroduce screens (if you want to!)

Discuss this as a family – what have you all enjoyed about your screen free detox? What have you missed about screen time (it’s ok to still crave screens!)? What do you want to keep or change about your experiences in the past week? For us, we found Bertie was much calmer and bedtimes were easier with no screens. We found he played more inventively and that we got way more involved in his play, which made him want to play even more! We found we got outside more, and our interactions and conversations were more meaningful.

But we missed sitting as a family to watch something. We missed watching educational shows like number blocks. So we decided to reintroduce screen time in a way that suits us. We have at least one screen free day per week, usually more on weeks when he’s at nursery. We have rules: no watching TV while eating, no TV before nursery, screens are only on if we’re actively engaged in them. This means we can sometimes stick something on while we’re doing jobs, or when I’m solo parenting, Bertie and I can watch TV together while Barnaby feeds. Maybe you want different rules for different screen types – no gaming on a weekend, no screens in bedrooms, or no phones at the table. Find what is going to work for your family and go with that.

Ten – enjoy your new normal

It might take time, you might have to go back to the beginning as screen time starts creeping back up, and at times this is needed! But don’t be afraid to go back to step one and try again. Maybe you’ll decide screen free time isn’t for your family and you were happy with how things were – and that’s great! At least you tried something different. I would recommend though, having a screen free week at least once a year to reconnect and reevaluate.

So there we have it, my top ten tips for screen free time with kids. Good luck, and let me know how things went for you!

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